After years of making sure my kids are up to date with their immunizations and the such, I've decided to go have my own health checked out. Years of being "inactive" and snacking inappropriately (aka kiddie snacks, aka yummy snacks.... alright, aka junk food snacks ), I made an appointment with my PCP (Primary Care Provider... I don't know why they're called that. Maybe it's a result of insurance and all their jargon? Makes doctors seem so unperson-able even though they stick in the "Care" in PCP)
Anyway, my doctor thought my blood pressure was higher than it should be...see, I'm even avoiding saying the obvious of "I HAVE HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE!" But it is what it is. She sent me to a cardiologist for a treadmill test. Great. I only envision "old" people who have appointments with their cardiologist.
Sorry, seniors who are reading this...."Older" people are the ones who talk about "my (fill-in-the-blank) specialists". My gosh, I AM getting old.... Wait, I'm not getting old, I'm getting OLDER. I'm only at an unhealthy stage in my life. That sounds so much better!
I get to the cardiology office, I get a ultrasound of my carotid arteries and my heart and get hooked up to an EKG to be on while I'm on the treadmill. I'm already having visions of me running up this treadmill at a 45 degree incline at cheetah speed (or in my case, warthog speed?).
After it was over, I must say, it wasn't bad at all. I was on that thing for not even 10 minutes. They increased the incline a bit twice. I didn't even have to have a death grip on the treadmill rails for fear of shooting off the back of the machine! (How embarrassing would that be?)
I waited for the cardiologist to look at the results. He starts by saying that my pressure is not where he wants it to be and then he whips out the Rx pad. WHOA, NELLY!
"I don't want to be on meds", I blurt out.
He looks at me over his glasses, "Nobody wants to be on meds"
I don't want to sound like a whiny patient so I try the scientific medical reasoning with him.
"If you look over the health history page that I filled out, I have not been actively exercising, I have had bad eating habits, and you can also note that I don't have any history of heart disease, high blood pressure, high cholesterol, stroke, heart attack or any of that such on either sides of my family. I want a chance to redeem myself with a plan from you."
He closed my chart, sat back in his chair and gave me a grave statistic. "9 out of 10 patients tell me this and fail ."
"But Dr H, I'm motivated, I'm goal oriented, I'm a good patient. If I have a plan from you, I will do it! I promise. You'll see! I deserve a chance."
He sighs and counts off on his fingers. "30-40 minutes of walking everyday..."
"Regular walking? 30-40 minutes a day? I can definitely do that"
"No.... I meant POWER WALKING, " He swung his arms like he was jogging. OK, so that's what he meant.
"...And with the diet, mainly fruits, vegetables, and lean protein like chicken, turkey and fish. Cut down the sugars, fats and the such. You should not be drinking anything with sugar in it. No sodas or juices. Healthy clear soups or water."
My gosh, he sounds so serious. So cardiologist-sounding!
"Well, what about the Atkins Diet, the South Beach Diet....?" I asked hopefully.
"No, not good for longterm." He said firmly.
"No Atkins, no South Beach....So I'll be on the F-diet, right?" I asked. He looked puzzled.
I explained, "You know, the 'Feathers, Fins, Fruits and Feggies' diet?"
He finally cracked a smile, "Yes, exactly. I'll see you in 4 weeks." Then he winks,"...No, let me see you in 6 weeks. I'll give you an extra 2 weeks for professional courtesy and a rousing argument against meds!"
On the way home, I stopped by the supermarket and loaded up on my F-diet foods.
We'll see how well this goes. But let me say again, I'm motivated, I'm goal-oriented, I'm a good patient and now I have a plan! 6 weeks, here it goes!
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