SAD
GOODBYES
When people ask me why I love being a dentist, one of the
reasons is because I don’t have to deal well with the issue of death or dying.
Eventually, I realized that if I practice dentistry long enough, I WILL have to
the dreaded topic.
I’ve come into this dental office after working on the
west side of Manhattan for over 10 years.
A lot of patients left that office and followed me here to the east
side. Mr O is one of them. I had been
his dentist ever since I started working right out of dental school. Back then,20 years ago, he knew I was a
nervous new dentist so he was always encouraging and patient with me. He was a smoker and a drinker so I made it
one of my dental goals to get him to stop smoking and drink less. Every time he came in for his regular
appointments, I would move my chair closer to him, look him in the eye and
begin by saying, “Now, Mr O, you know I need to say this to you as your dentist
but also because I care about you….”
He would smile and tell me “Dr Lee, I enjoy smoking and
drinking too much to quit. You can quote me articles and statistics until
you’re blue in the face. I will not quit
either bad habit. I know you are obligated to tell me these things as a good
dentist, and I will listen as a good patient but I will not quit.” After his
dental appointment, he told me, “I will now go get a drink! You can come join
me if you want!” I smiled, thanked him
and told him my day is not over yet.
Sad to say, 10 years ago, Mr O had a sore throat that
wouldn’t heal. His medical doctor did a biopsy and it turned out to be cancer. Mr
O stopped smoking and drinking overnight.
He had surgery to remove his voicebox, chemotherapy as well as radiation
therapy. Things were looking well for Mr
O for years after that. He retired from his job later on and spent his freetime
travelling across the country and visiting relatives and friends. I would always get a postcard in the mail
every few weeks so I was able to track his travels. Whenever I received a
postcard, I would get a warm happy feeling knowing he’s doing what he loves.
I received a phone call from his sister last month saying
that Mr O had passed. She had come across a last postcard addressed to me that
he had not mailed out. It was from
Seattle and on it, he had written, “Well, I’m done travelling coast to coast..
I’m finally coming home.”
My dear patient, every time I speak with you about
quitting smoking and cutting down on drinking, every time I do an oral cancer
check during your exams, I always your best interest in mind. I will also
always have Mr O on my mind. I do not want to lose another patient that way.
